I used to send headlines to The Onion. They rejected me every time. Now I post them here. var gaJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://ssl." : "http://www."); document.write(unescape("%3Cscript src='" + gaJsHost + "google-analytics.com/ga.js' type='text/javascript'%3E%3C/script%3E")); try { var pageTracker = _gat._getTracker("UA-12577581-1"); pageTracker._trackPageview(); } catch(err) {}Rejected OnionTumblr (3.0; @rejectedonion)http://rejectedonion.com/Baby Shartshttp://rejectedonion.com/post/50509482269http://rejectedonion.com/post/50509482269Wed, 15 May 2013 12:34:12 -0600Study Finds The Most Humid States Also The Most Racisthttp://rejectedonion.com/post/47708913178http://rejectedonion.com/post/47708913178Thu, 11 Apr 2013 10:51:09 -0600Unwatered Bamboo Dies Of Plantslaughter <p><img src="http://media.tumblr.com/7400593f58b29128ed4311ef3a9c1b9e/tumblr_inline_ml1ttsXb0z1qacn0t.jpg"/></p>http://rejectedonion.com/post/47628589219http://rejectedonion.com/post/47628589219Wed, 10 Apr 2013 10:59:38 -0600Men Wearing Long, Black Dresses To Decide The Fate Of Gay Marriagehttp://rejectedonion.com/post/46343175702http://rejectedonion.com/post/46343175702Tue, 26 Mar 2013 10:23:47 -0600Vegan Works Hard To Bring Home The Soy Baconhttp://rejectedonion.com/post/46253789177http://rejectedonion.com/post/46253789177Mon, 25 Mar 2013 09:17:42 -0600Study Finds That 95% Of Banner Ads Are Clicked On By Accidenthttp://rejectedonion.com/post/45920400370http://rejectedonion.com/post/45920400370Thu, 21 Mar 2013 10:59:39 -0600Tech-Savvy Prostitute Accepts PayPal http://rejectedonion.com/post/44225171357http://rejectedonion.com/post/44225171357Thu, 28 Feb 2013 10:15:53 -0700Airline Second Guesses Decision To Play ‘Flight’ After Takeoffhttp://rejectedonion.com/post/43498529623http://rejectedonion.com/post/43498529623Tue, 19 Feb 2013 11:40:52 -0700Gynecologist’s Office Covered With Georgia O’Keeffe Flower Printshttp://rejectedonion.com/post/42934474537http://rejectedonion.com/post/42934474537Tue, 12 Feb 2013 10:56:34 -0700Bachelor Feels Obligated To Give At Least One Rose To Minorityhttp://rejectedonion.com/post/40605052639http://rejectedonion.com/post/40605052639Tue, 15 Jan 2013 09:06:06 -0700MILF Childlesshttp://rejectedonion.com/post/40534619446http://rejectedonion.com/post/40534619446Mon, 14 Jan 2013 12:34:16 -0700Music Appreciation Class Unappreciatedhttp://rejectedonion.com/post/39953977991http://rejectedonion.com/post/39953977991Mon, 07 Jan 2013 14:35:09 -0700Santa Shot Dead By NRA Memberhttp://rejectedonion.com/post/38723007242http://rejectedonion.com/post/38723007242Mon, 24 Dec 2012 09:59:47 -0700f-ckyeahheadlines: Every Day An Ugly Holiday Sweater Party At...<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/4060bdf73386425f3a9c0004200accbf/tumblr_mfdeyobP3q1qh1n38o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://f-ckyeahheadlines.com/post/38451963966" class="tumblr_blog">f-ckyeahheadlines</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://www.rejectedonion.com">Every Day An Ugly Holiday Sweater Party At Local Nursing Home</a></p> <p>Does that hilarious 30 something couple really have to include them in their Facebook photos? </p> <p>Its Rejected Friday.  as always the headline is provided by @rejectedonion </p> <p>happy holidays y’all  </p></blockquote>http://rejectedonion.com/post/38467440176http://rejectedonion.com/post/38467440176Fri, 21 Dec 2012 08:39:30 -0700Missing 25-Year-Old Female’s Only Recent Photos Are Her Doing The Duck Face<p><img src="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mf6sjtcMCe1qacn0t.jpg"/></p>http://rejectedonion.com/post/38157080228http://rejectedonion.com/post/38157080228Mon, 17 Dec 2012 11:03:08 -0700Congressman Unzips Fly, Pisses Off Fiscal Cliff http://rejectedonion.com/post/37656709316http://rejectedonion.com/post/37656709316Mon, 10 Dec 2012 13:42:31 -0700Toyota Recalls 2.7 Million Cars For Being Beigehttp://rejectedonion.com/post/35713471936http://rejectedonion.com/post/35713471936Wed, 14 Nov 2012 11:02:58 -0700Couple Gives Son Weird Name In Hopes He Can Get A Decent Twitter Username Somedayhttp://rejectedonion.com/post/35282889894http://rejectedonion.com/post/35282889894Thu, 08 Nov 2012 12:18:31 -0700Romney Tries Alcohol For The First Timehttp://rejectedonion.com/post/35210131436http://rejectedonion.com/post/35210131436Wed, 07 Nov 2012 11:05:20 -0700NYC Transit Authorities Test New Water Propulsion Subway Systemhttp://rejectedonion.com/post/34765439823http://rejectedonion.com/post/34765439823Thu, 01 Nov 2012 10:28:04 -0600