I used to send headlines to The Onion. They rejected me every time. Now I post them here. var gaJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://ssl." : "http://www."); document.write(unescape("%3Cscript src='" + gaJsHost + "google-analytics.com/ga.js' type='text/javascript'%3E%3C/script%3E")); try { var pageTracker = _gat._getTracker("UA-12577581-1"); pageTracker._trackPageview(); } catch(err) {}Rejected OnionTumblr (3.0; @rejectedonion)http://rejectedonion.com/f-ckyeahheadlines: Mason-Dickhead Line Drawn Around North...<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3ulxghEX11qh1n38o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://f-ckyeahheadlines.com/post/22832289993" class="tumblr_blog">f-ckyeahheadlines</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><span class="Apple-style-span"><a href="http://www.rejectedonion.com">Mason-Dickhead Line Drawn Around North Carolina</a></span></p> <p><span class="Apple-style-span">seriously. </span></p> <p><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span">#rejectedFriday via @rejectedonion</span></span></p></blockquote>http://rejectedonion.com/post/22840136896http://rejectedonion.com/post/22840136896Fri, 11 May 2012 07:54:23 -0600New North Carolina Amendment Would Also Ban Bromanceshttp://rejectedonion.com/post/22717894450http://rejectedonion.com/post/22717894450Wed, 09 May 2012 09:29:18 -06001994 Mazda Protegé Thought It Would Have Been Promoted By Nowhttp://rejectedonion.com/post/22672800440http://rejectedonion.com/post/22672800440Tue, 08 May 2012 15:43:41 -0600Nebraska's Sewer Workers Report That Nebraskans Are Definitely Eating Their Cornhttp://rejectedonion.com/post/22341849636http://rejectedonion.com/post/22341849636Thu, 03 May 2012 15:55:11 -0600Guy Who Named The Orange Disappointed To Learn Of Other Orange Colored Fruithttp://rejectedonion.com/post/22264278272http://rejectedonion.com/post/22264278272Wed, 02 May 2012 12:12:49 -0600Fundamentalist Christian Leaves Body To Non-Sciencehttp://rejectedonion.com/post/22124452365http://rejectedonion.com/post/22124452365Mon, 30 Apr 2012 09:14:30 -0600f-ckyeahheadlines: Contra Code Flashes Before Dying...<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m34jy8JsBc1qh1n38o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://f-ckyeahheadlines.com/post/21901312947" class="tumblr_blog">f-ckyeahheadlines</a>:</p> <blockquote><div> <p><a href="http://www.rejectedonion.com">Contra Code Flashes Before Dying 30-Year-Old’s Eyes</a></p> <p>I agree, that does kinda look like Joey Fatone</p> <p>its #rejectedfriday </p> <p>headline via: @rejectedonion.</p> </div></blockquote>http://rejectedonion.com/post/21912469386http://rejectedonion.com/post/21912469386Fri, 27 Apr 2012 08:22:24 -0600Congressman Working On Legislation That Would Limit The Amount Of Air Allowed In Potato Chip Packaginghttp://rejectedonion.com/post/21850210728http://rejectedonion.com/post/21850210728Thu, 26 Apr 2012 09:20:04 -0600Depressed Newt Gingrich Slowly Eats Entire Hot Dog Stuffed Crust Pizza By Himselfhttp://rejectedonion.com/post/21788555312http://rejectedonion.com/post/21788555312Wed, 25 Apr 2012 10:57:01 -0600Kanye West, Kim Kardashian Relationship Tears A Hole In Space-Time Ego Continuumhttp://rejectedonion.com/post/21381972537http://rejectedonion.com/post/21381972537Thu, 19 Apr 2012 09:08:00 -0600Nation Ready For A Good Mass Cult Suicide Againhttp://rejectedonion.com/post/21213556154http://rejectedonion.com/post/21213556154Mon, 16 Apr 2012 09:58:56 -0600f-ckyeahheadlines: Beets By Dr. Dre Organic Farm Goes Largely...<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2ed35Mpa41qh1n38o1_r1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://f-ckyeahheadlines.com/post/21004129044" class="tumblr_blog">f-ckyeahheadlines</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http//:www.rejectedonion.com">Beets By Dr. Dre Organic Farm Goes Largely Unnoticed</a></p> <p>It ain’t nothin’ but an antioxidant thing Baaaybay.</p> <p>its #rejectedFriday  </p> <p>via @rejectedonion.    </p></blockquote>http://rejectedonion.com/post/21023390698http://rejectedonion.com/post/21023390698Fri, 13 Apr 2012 08:02:37 -0600Jones Family Everyone Trying To Keep Up With In $200,000 Of Credit Card Debthttp://rejectedonion.com/post/20966473309http://rejectedonion.com/post/20966473309Thu, 12 Apr 2012 09:30:35 -0600Santorum Pulls Out Of Race, Wife's Vaginahttp://rejectedonion.com/post/20853301492http://rejectedonion.com/post/20853301492Tue, 10 Apr 2012 13:01:26 -0600Facebook Buys Instagram To Create World's Largest Hipster Stock Photography Servicehttp://rejectedonion.com/post/20844627689http://rejectedonion.com/post/20844627689Tue, 10 Apr 2012 09:33:56 -0600Banana Peel Wishes Someone Would Just Slip On It For Oncehttp://rejectedonion.com/post/20540975741http://rejectedonion.com/post/20540975741Thu, 05 Apr 2012 13:46:39 -0600Cubs Fans Declare, 'This Is The Year'http://rejectedonion.com/post/20526424742http://rejectedonion.com/post/20526424742Thu, 05 Apr 2012 08:19:04 -0600Romney Endorses Romneyhttp://rejectedonion.com/post/20412715110http://rejectedonion.com/post/20412715110Tue, 03 Apr 2012 10:34:36 -0600f-ckyeahheadlines: Greenpeace Girl Can Totally Tell When You’re...<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1or6azQnd1qh1n38o1_r1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://f-ckyeahheadlines.com/post/20161639444" class="tumblr_blog">f-ckyeahheadlines</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://www.rejectedonion.com">Greenpeace Girl Can Totally Tell When You’re Faking A Phone Call</a></p> <p>You dont have to be a jerk, they are just trying to make the world a better place. Plus you aren’t even holding a phone for godsake. </p> <p>its #rejectedFriday…  headline via @rejectedonion</p></blockquote>http://rejectedonion.com/post/20171659441http://rejectedonion.com/post/20171659441Fri, 30 Mar 2012 09:18:17 -0600Dick Cheney Experiences Life With A Human Heart For First Timehttp://rejectedonion.com/post/20118890307http://rejectedonion.com/post/20118890307Thu, 29 Mar 2012 09:57:42 -0600